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Saturday, September 25, 2010

Tips for not sucking at being a student in a recession.

With this whole "The Depression Strikes Back" Sequel to American history going on...
Here's a few money saving tips I see fit to pass on, cause guess what all you emo kids? ever hear of something called a deficit? yeah... THAT. There's something will give you a reason to whine.
"Hello future generations! I am looking forward to sliding down your gullet..."

1. Don't put a 5.99 pizza from little ceasar's on your student credit card.

The problem with using a credit card for small purchases is that unless you pay your balance off almost as soon as you do it, that those small purchases gain interest.  The small choices you make now, can be a burden to you.
Much like the unwanted child you made on the last night of finals week, They will drain you slowly over the years

If you are just making the minimum payments and using your card alot then eventually you will find you have paid likely double what your crappy pizza costed.   Just pay cash for insignificant crap and be done with it, or just do without.


2. If you have any assets don't ever put them in the clutches of dumb-asses.

Got a digital camera? a laptop? a car? Something else nice? Thats dandy!
When someone asks to borrow it SAY NO. People tend to be less careful with thing's that are not theirs.
"Hey bro thanks for letting me use your ride, does it always get so overheated though?"

I know it's hard to turn down a "bro" when they wana borrow your wheels, take your camera to a party, or what not, but hey if they screw up, it's YOU who are going to be shit out of luck. Even if they offer to replace your stuff,  you still have to wait for them to deliver.


3. The Dollar tree exists for a number of reasons.

Some things you really should pay more then a dollar for.  Meat and dairy products are among them.
Pictured: Value.

However, the vast majority of random crap we buy can be found at these stores, Dish soap, paper towels, basic ingredients, toiletries, snacks...  The list goes on.  and when comparing the quality  It's pretty much the same.   I mean really, do you want to pay more than 99 cents for freaking scotch tape?

I would not suggest buying a 99 cent home pregnancy test though.  Yes they exist. You might be better of asking witch doctor to pour ashes onto your uterus.  If either of these actually predict a pregnancy correctly I will stand corrected.

4. RAMEN IS FREAKING AWESOME.

You knew this was coming...Heres some things to do with ramen.

A: Boil it in water, add season packet and whatever else, eat it

B :Be a man, eat that demonseed straight out of the bag with the seasoning.

C. Use it on salads ect. as your "crunchy" element, A master chef is you!

D. Build a monument to your own loneliness and despondency out of unopened packets, supported by empty toilet paper rolls and beer cans.  Wonder if life will get better  (It wont.)

E. Create a gauntlet of crunchy noodle pieces around your valuables at night. The sound of intruders stepping on the "noodle mines" will alert you to danger.

F. Save the flavor packets as a form of currency in the coming post apocalyptic world. Oriental will be the most valuable, chicken will be like the bottom tier.

Well that's all for now. Just something to think about.
Now if you will excuse me I'm going to make a deposit into the packet vault.
"Shit... I'm running low on beef flavor..."

12 comments:

  1. lol dude, I love this post. Ramen FTW, I eat it everyday, I whisk and egg in a cup and put it in while the noodles are boiling, shit is so cash :D

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  2. Try throwing some cheese ontop of the ramen mate, especially chicken... Its divine. That beef however... I've seen almost everything. Rotten meat still gets me. See ya soon mate!

    -JKane

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  3. Im a student and we do stuggle through this time :P

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  4. Greats tips man, I never tried ramen but I think I'm going to soon :D

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  5. Good tips and also delicious cheap ramen.

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  6. Student at CC and buy ramen every week. it's a staple in my diet. Gotta love cheap calories

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